Left to my thoughts!

It's a dangerous world when Kayla Randolph is left to her thoughts.

I feel overwhelmed and undeniably scared and I am writing while I am at work because this is usually when I have idle time. At least lately.

I found out at the beginning of June that my company is doing a company wide lay-off for my position. We were told that we had a conference to be on for some important progress concerning the company. I was initially excited because I like progress and I am ok with change....if I can control both!

Nevertheless I had no control and lost it at times during said conference call. Corporate was informing us that most of our job duties/projects were being centralized. This means that they will be organizing groups of new hires and individuals to complete certain tasks. As of right now each Operations and Controls Specialist has a couple of specific projects that they handle for our division.

My big projects are Hiring and Prudential Learning. These are very important jobs for my company and both of them are being centralized. I have started to hate that word. These positions are being split up along with other jobs. The OCS Team, for the last month, has been applying for these very job specific positions. Unfortunately these positions are located in Pennsylvania and Florida. That is if you want to work in a group atmosphere, for which most of us are accustomed.

The company is also offering another option for these positions. Each of us has a shot to work remotely(from home). So pretty much unless you want to move or you live in those states your only shot is these remote spots. So what I want you to imagine is prolly over 300 people fighting for these FEW remote positions. I am one of them.

Mr Randolph is ready to throw me out of the house. I really do try not to be a gloomy gus but it's proving to be very difficult especially on days like today. So instead I try and keep my mind and heart busy. I am pulling my friends closer because they tend to make me feel better about myself.

Its pretty slow at work today so that means an idle mind if that is even possible for me. I have occupied myself with Pottery Barn and what the inside Of my dream house would look like. Now I am searching the home directories for a dream house. Sad really and I had to stop because the distraction was not distracting me....only making things worse.

I did the math and lets just say shits gonna get real bad if I do lose my job and we have to survive off Randolph's salary. He does ok at the hospital but they have never paid him what he is worth...by far!

So this is a plea to very few that have access to viewing my blog. Please pray for my family. We are in need of your kind thoughts and optimism.