Associate, Regulatory Supervision

So I believe I have told y'all that they are doing a company wide lay-off at Prudential. I have since been in a state of disrepair.

I do try to contain my feelings to the best of my ability but if you really know me then you can sense that even if I am occupied I am always preoccupied with thoughts about my career.

I hate feeling like this and I mostly hate that it is affecting my home life. I walk around in a blank state of worry.

I am always thinking:
1) Why is my company treating me like a number?
2) I can't wait until the middle of August so that I may know my future!
3) What happens if I don't get the news I want?
4) I crunched the numbers and there is no way we can afford to live on Matthews salary...for no period of time.
5) Will I be able to find a job quickly enough to supplement the loss and will that be a big step back for me?
6) i know I will be so happy if I can work from home but what if I lose the position to my co-worker. I have to be happy for her right?

All of these questions plus about a billion more go through my mind daily and nightly. I don't sleep much and when I do I never get a deep sleep with dreams. I miss my dreams because they usually help me work out my problems in my life.

Since I don't sleep I am physically exhausted and barely have the energy for conversation. I do put on a good front when I have to but like I said most of you know me and have already started to try and relieve my stress. A day at the pool, watching HBO with best friends, teaching me how to coupon(lol), or just taking care of the chores that are my life.

I just want to say thank you to the ones I lean on and there are a few that just simply keep me sane during the work week with emails that provide a great distraction.

I had an interview yesterday for the job title listed as my title. It's mostly for the hiring of which half of my responsibilities are. The interview only lasted thirty minutes and I just knew that was a bad sign. Well my co-worker had the same interview today and it was the same. It was a behavioral interview.

Let me just say that this style really sucks! If you are a smooth talker then you would ace this but if you are a pessimistic, worry wart like myself then your voice cracks and mostly you sound like a moron. The only thing that made this interview worse was that it was a phone interview and that meant I had know idea what their facial expressions were and if they were grasping my blather.

So pretty much after it was over I hung up the phone and cried for the rest of the day. I tried calling people for comfort but they had none to give....at the moment.

I eventually made it back to my desk and just numbed out again. I didn't get anything done because I was over analyzing everything that just happened.

I did find out today though that they are doing interviews in Tiers. I must be in Tier one for this position because I was one of the first to have an interview set up. This makes me feel good an bad. Good for the obvious reason but bad because I have yet to hear from the other jobs I posted for.

Well anyways now you are as up to date as I am.

Krom Fam Day #5 post 1

Thursday morning was another great day! I had the day off and Tater was going to play hookie with me again! I had been telling him that we were going to see some fishies and turtles today and boy that helped the morning routine go a little faster!

Nana, Papaw, the Kroms, Ms Tammy and her g-babe, Riley, all headed to New Orleans to go to the aquarium. Tater and I rode with Tammy and I made sure to bring the portable DVD player. Let me just say that it is a must buy for the traveling family.

We made it there around lunch time and ate lunch at an awesome seafood resturant! Clayton and I were more than ready to go play so we hurry and ate and went watch some boats go up and down the river. After everyone was done we walked down the river walk to the aquarium.

I think their must be some evil juju mist they spray on the kids as they come through the door. Clayton went from mild tempered laid back babe to a complete holy terror. I was a momma about to jump out of the window and I know at some point I was ok with not claiming him and begged his Papaw to take over. Thank God for the other mommies there and the fact that they all seemed to have at least one angry little person in their groups.

I was on the verge of tears when my sister in law gave me some great advice. It seemed to work and I no longer wanted to drop him in the albino alligator tank! lol!

I was more than happy to get out of that place. I was in desperate need of a snack so we headed to a very well known eatery. You will have to wait for that post later. For now I leave you with these beautiful pictures.

Bama Wedding

On June 4, Tater and I, hit the road for Tuscaloosa, Alabama. I hadn't been back there in a couple years. We passed through there after our Tennessee trip, when Clayton was 7 months. I was so excited to go see our old family friends and especially since it was for a very special occasion. We were going to celebrate the Tidmore wedding.

The only thing that made the trip better was that we were traveling with my mom, dad, my lil' brother and his family. This meant that I got lots of cuddle time with my niece CC and my beautiful nephew Lil' Buck. I really just can't get enough of those two.

Mr Randolph was unable to travel with us because of work and trust me that was a long four days to go without my love. I know he appreciated the silence and personal time though. Thursday, the 2nd, all the Smiths and Randolphs loaded up in a rented mini van and hit the road. The van was packed but everyone was very comfortable. I even brought the portable DVD player so that the boys could watch movies the whole way. I really believe that between this and my mom being quick with the snacks the boys survived the trip.

I even brought Tater's little potty chair and when we weren't able to stop he just sat and did his thing with NO problem at all. I really did not think it was going to work but I am shocked by him all the time!

We were so happy when we arrived and got to stretch out our legs. When we arrived Thursday afternoon we had a surprise birthday to attend and then we went and stayed at the grooms house for the night. The morning had arrived all to quickly and I didn't get much sleep since the boys decided to take an early morning fishing trip. They caught about a billion fish though.

After showers and getting dressed we all loaded up for a quick Wal-Mart trip. Then we were going to check out the tornado damage from the horrible storm. It really cut to my heart but thankfully no one we knew was hurt.

We finally arrived at our destination cabin. Wooohooo! The cabin was gorgeous and the Tom Bigby River was in our backyard. The other huge plus was that the church where the rehearsal dinner and wedding was at the end of the road. What a win right?!

Friday night was the rehearsal and it was quite beautiful but so HOT! The boys had pretty much had enough by this time. We stuffed their bellies and put them in bed. The girls played cards and relaxed.

Saturday morning we woke up and headed outside to play. I can't remember exactly which day but Claire and I swam across the river mostly just to see if we could do it and we succeeded.

After the wedding pictures were done the ceremony started. It was gorgeous! We had a great time but were definitely beat by the end of the night.

Well the end of the trip came all too soon and as soon as the van was packed we were on the road again for home. The trip home always seems quicker and it was a little crazier just because everyone was ready to be home and relaxing.

The trip was wonderful and Tater and I were so grateful to my parents and brother for letting us tag along. I may have more pictures later!

My gorgeous little nephew Lil' Buck

Tater, Cheyenne, Lil' Buck

What mommies let the babies do to keep them sane!

My little bro and his perfect family.

Tater contemplating life.

Rehearsal

A to Z of me

A: Age~ 27 so old

B: Bed size~ King...is there any other size worth it? I think not!

C: Chore you dislike~ LAUNDRY

D: Dogs~ none

E: Essential start to your day~ COFFEE and a banana

F: Fave color~ blue

G: Gold or Silver~ Gold!!! But mostly I mix them together

H: Height~ 5`2

I: Instrument(s)~ None

J: Job Title~ office manager and domestic goddess

K: Kids~ 1 Tater and 1 Mr Randolph

L: Live~ Culture driven loooosianna

M: Mom's name~ Linda

N: Nicknames~ Momma

O: Overnight hospital stays~ c-section for the lose

P: Pet peeves~ Fake people that think they are better than everyone.

Q: Quote from a movie~ you wanna piece of me

R: Righty or Lefty~ Right

S: Siblings~ 1 younger brother

T: Time you wake up~4:30 am

U: Underwear~ Victoria secret cheeky and thong

V: Veggies you don't like~ olives and cucumbers

W: What makes you run late~ Kids and husband

X: X-rays~ Teeth

Y: Yummy food you make~ gumbo, sketti

Z: Zoo animal favorites~ tiger and hippo

Flamin Dr. P's!

Why oh why must a drink like this one exist? What devil person decided that Amaretto, 151, and fire is a good combination? Tater's Uncle Richey, that's who!

Ok so the night started off real slow with no big plans. I really like when my Friday nights are slow. Since I had my usual squatters at my house (3 extra guys) it was loud and full of video games. Mr Randolph's 32 in tv and the 46 in tv that we currently have was not enough for these guys so they brought and extra 40 in to the house so they could have a mini lan party.

While they were getting all set up and ready to play some Battlefield..Halo...League of Legends, Tater and I kept each other company. I am not sure who was playing what but there was a lot of profanities yelling at the tv.

Anyways, Nana and Papaw called to let us know they were outside and wanted to show off the new truck. Its pretty fancy and I would not mind having one. Of course when Tater saw them he kicked the beatin and abused  poor pitiful, unloved baby act into high gear. Nana and Papaw felt sorry for him and took him home to get spoiled. I really believe he would much rather live out in the country with them.....hell I would too!

Since Tater was out of the house that just meant that things were gonna get loud and crazy. The picture below shows you why it got a little crazy. I had one at 11pm and I am currently still paying for all 4 shots of liquor! It's 9am. Ugh.....

When I woke up I hated life and I looked like I had been through a war lol. I grumbled and demanded requested Joey make some coffee. I ended up cleaning up the drippings from the sweet drinks; meanwhile  denying all the sugar ants their morning totties. The only other damage was one of my dining room chairs just fell apart. I am sure that wasn't because someone was leaning back in the chair while they were toasted and lost their balance. Thankfully this someone did not get hurt....I will fix that though ;-)!

This was not a photo of our flaming dr p's. Ours were in beautiful red dixie cups and we were using my all time favorite LSU shot glasses.



Left to my thoughts!

It's a dangerous world when Kayla Randolph is left to her thoughts.

I feel overwhelmed and undeniably scared and I am writing while I am at work because this is usually when I have idle time. At least lately.

I found out at the beginning of June that my company is doing a company wide lay-off for my position. We were told that we had a conference to be on for some important progress concerning the company. I was initially excited because I like progress and I am ok with change....if I can control both!

Nevertheless I had no control and lost it at times during said conference call. Corporate was informing us that most of our job duties/projects were being centralized. This means that they will be organizing groups of new hires and individuals to complete certain tasks. As of right now each Operations and Controls Specialist has a couple of specific projects that they handle for our division.

My big projects are Hiring and Prudential Learning. These are very important jobs for my company and both of them are being centralized. I have started to hate that word. These positions are being split up along with other jobs. The OCS Team, for the last month, has been applying for these very job specific positions. Unfortunately these positions are located in Pennsylvania and Florida. That is if you want to work in a group atmosphere, for which most of us are accustomed.

The company is also offering another option for these positions. Each of us has a shot to work remotely(from home). So pretty much unless you want to move or you live in those states your only shot is these remote spots. So what I want you to imagine is prolly over 300 people fighting for these FEW remote positions. I am one of them.

Mr Randolph is ready to throw me out of the house. I really do try not to be a gloomy gus but it's proving to be very difficult especially on days like today. So instead I try and keep my mind and heart busy. I am pulling my friends closer because they tend to make me feel better about myself.

Its pretty slow at work today so that means an idle mind if that is even possible for me. I have occupied myself with Pottery Barn and what the inside Of my dream house would look like. Now I am searching the home directories for a dream house. Sad really and I had to stop because the distraction was not distracting me....only making things worse.

I did the math and lets just say shits gonna get real bad if I do lose my job and we have to survive off Randolph's salary. He does ok at the hospital but they have never paid him what he is worth...by far!

So this is a plea to very few that have access to viewing my blog. Please pray for my family. We are in need of your kind thoughts and optimism.

Slip-n-Tater

Wordless Wednesday: Gecko...It doesn't get much cuter than this!!!!

They took him to Olan Mills while they were down visiting and just look at this cuteness!

We will persevere!

The Randolph's have been on the Dave Ramsey diet for the past two months. It took me a month and a half to get the system in order and get all our debts and budgets in order.

Dave has worksheets you can print out for everything but I was burning a hole in the papers from all of the erasing. I tend to transpose my numbers. Well I got so fed up I just took all his information and created excel spreadsheets. What a difference?!

We have four spread sheets. The first is my original sheet that lists all my bills, when they are due, how much they are, and the account numbers. I thought that this sheet would work but it ended up not keeping us from bouncing the checking account like a beach ball.

The sad part is we are not great with money. Mostly just down right suck at it. Our friends the Thevis' have inspired a change in our life. They really seem to have a grasp on their budget and well its time that we get in the groove. It's just sad that it has taken us this long to figure if out.

Well now there are three other spread sheets. One is the Monthly Cash Flow Log, this is where all the budgets are made. Groceries, gas, gifts, clothes, etc get decided here. After all the bills are paid then I divide the remaining amongst these categories. We almost have an average of how much will be budgeted each month but by the middle of August we should know if this is a firm number.

It's amazing how much Murphy visits when you have no savings. It's almost as if he can see your bank account and if it's empty thats when he attacks your car, makes your dish washer stop working, or your hot water heater breaks. So Dave Ramsey's first "Baby Step" is to get a 1000 dollars in an emergency fund. I am proud to say at the end of the month our little family will actually have a savings account. It's not much but maybe it is enough to keep Murphy away. Hopefully I didn't just jinx us though.

We will not be leaving this money in a regular savings account. It has never serves us well there. It doesn't make us any money that way. Dave says you should always have your money working for you, so we will take the thousand and throw it into a mutual fund. This way we can't see it when we pull up our chase account and won't be pressured into transferring funds willy nilly.

The second "Baby Step" is getting rid of your debt. This is where we continue to fail. We pay something off then Murphy visits only for us to have to create more debt. I have a spreadsheet just for the debt and it's the Debt Snowball spreadsheet. Sounds kinda dirty but if we can stick to our guns this will be our saving grace.....

More to come later!

Krom Fam Day #4

Wednesday was a fabulous day to boot! I had taken the day off so Tater and I played hooky. I wish Mr Randolph could have taken the day with us but unfortunately his company does not let him accrue time like normal. He only gets so many hours per pay check. Ultimately he did not have the time so he had to go to work.

We were very sad but also way to excited to go spend the day with Aiden(gecko) along with Auntie Sarah, Uncle Mark, and of course Nana and Papaw! After we ta-taed daddy and sent him to work Tater and I cleaned up around the house.

After a few things were done and I was satisfied with my less dirty house I packed up our swim suits and Taters spider man slip-n-slide. Oh I just knew he was not going to use the thing but what the hell maybe Papaw could show him show him how much fun it was.

Tater was so excited when we drove up he started yelling for "nanny and papa" hmm. He also stared yelling Aiden! He loves his cousin even though Aiden is a baby and can't play like him lol.

Aiden did a lot of rolling and circle time with his Auntie Kayla. I just love the way he smells and his Donald Trump hair style. He is so beautiful from his little fat toes all the way to his big blue eyes.

I couldn't wait to see Taters reaction to the slide so I tossed the box in Papaws hand and he ran and set it up. While he did that I struggled to get Tater to potty and put his bathing suit on. He really thought that I was being a mean mommy by keeping him inside while there was water and fun outside. After many negotiations and mommy almost losing her temper he finally conceded. Why does he have to make things so difficult? Doesn't he know that I love him and that I am trying to take care of him? Hmph. I swear a mommies job is too hard sometimes.

Well I stole a few kisses from Aiden and then we all went outside to play in the sun. I even got in the jacuzzi. It was hot but it felt good to get wet while the wind blew. We even got Auntie Sarah in her suit for a little fun in the sun.

Tater got in the jacuzzi and jumped, dove, and tried to drown himself over and over. The boy has no fear when it comes to water which is good but also scares me to pieces.

He loved his slip-n-slide so much and I know papaw was very sore from hurling him down the slide. Tater giggled so much and Sarah got a great video that I will download later.

After a while in the sun we needed food, water, and Tater was whining which was signal for NAP! About 4 hrs later I woke sleeping beauty and headed home to spend time with Mr Randolph.

It was a perfect day!

Back in March: Happy St Patrick' Day!

I haven't been able to get Tater new embroidered shirts lately but he pretty much has one for every occasion so I am ok with that.....for now. Football season is just around the corner! Anyways I had a FB friend of mine make Tater this most precious shirt.

Tater is our little good luck charm so no need for the four leaf clover!

Ham Much?!?

She did such a great job on his shirt!



After I picked him up from school we went to visit CC and Lil' Buck. Unfortunately Lil' Buck could not stand still long enough for me to get a picture with my phone.







Back in March: "Leave the gun. Take the canoli."

I stopped blogging at the end of February so there is a lot that you guys haven't seen. Tater's, Nanny Wheazy, got him one of the most perfect shirts ever. His Parrain was pretty jealous that he hadn't got him the shirt.....but he supplies the artillery!

He is pretty much spoiled rotten by both of these guys. Mr Randolph and I have been best friends with them since we were just kids and who better to help us raise/guide Tater. Although they are not the only people that have won stolen Tater's heart.

We depend on these two people to teach Tater things that mommy and daddy can't and give him more love than he can stand.

Shirt from his Nanny!

Extremely cool pow-pow from Parrain!

Mr Randolph- Happy Father's Day

I am very proud to honor my hubby today. He is a wonderful father to Tater.

We had such a great day of lounging. No parties, no house jumping, just a lot of cuddling and relaxing.

Sunday morning Mr Randolph and I spent the morning laying in bed until forced awake by an excited Potato. No cartoons or toys was able to occupy our little man. It's almost as if he sensed it was daddies special day. He was his daddies shadow. I loved watching them interact.

Randolph and I finally got out of bed and started scooting around. We decided that we would spend the afternoon with his parents. We had a great time and ate some great burgers ala Papaw! Afterwards we watched some tv while The now cranky Tater slept.

Did I mention the terrible twos are here? He decided to test his daddies patience and kept unbuckling his seat belt while we drove. The bad part is we did not notice until he was standing up in the back seat. We tried several times to tell him not to unbuckle his seat because it was dangerous. He seemed to have gotten amnesia and did it again. We hate spanking him because he is a very tender hearted child but for us it was a necessary evil. It breaks our heart when it comes to it but he did not unbuckle his seat again. I can live with that know that my son knows it's for his own safety!

Anyways! We were leaving my in-laws when a hornet or something dived bombed on Tater and me. I was able to flick him away only to piss it off. As it was recovering from my psychotic episode it snuck in and stung Tater in the muddle of his right palm.

I did not think the stupid thing got him until Clayton took his short fat hand and said owsch mommy! Well what followed almost had me in tears. Slowly his little eyes filled up with water and the tears fell down his fat cheeks. He did not cry out loud bug held it in...like he was showing his panicking mother he was ok. I held him tight and ran him inside to Nana who had ice and PUDDIN ready :-)!

After this long day we had some grocery shopping to do then cleaning up around the house. Overall the day was great!

Happy Fathers Day!

Krom Fam Day #3

Unfortunately day three played out the same as the previous because both Mr Randolph and I were both stranded at work while Lil' Randolph was at school. This was just not right since our Krom's were out and about playing with Nana and Papaw. Not fair....at all. It was all good since they got to go visit with Grandma Dot.

Thankfully 5pm came fast and that meant we headed out to the country to visit. This night a big dinner party was happening and boy the house was packed. Before we got out there though we had to stop at Toys R Us and get our sweet nephew Jackson his two-year-old birthday gift. We got him a Mater (from cars) fluffy toy that tells jokes and a little Lighting McQeen car. Well I had an Auntie fail moment because Jackson really wanted slippers and when he could not put Mater on his foot then there was a bit of a melt down. I felt so bad but his mommy reassured me that Mater would end up being his favorite toy that night.

When we got out there the house was enchanted with warm smells of brisket, rotisserie chicken, and baked beans. I was one of the last ones to eat because well my nephews were in the house so I had better things to do than eat! After I stole many kisses and of course fussed Tater for the millionth time. He is going through the terrible twos and well its working on mommy and daddies last nerves. I know this too shall pass. So f'ing pass already lol!

By the end of the night we attempted to take a family picture. Wow! Just WOW! We don't usually get large family pictures taken and now I know why. It was quite insane and very much awkward. Where to stand? Which camera to look at? What are the kids doing...are they smiling? Good God! All in all we finally got some great shots. I mean if you take 50 photos you are bound to get one....right?!?

Mr Randolph melted every ones heart when he played with Aiden and taught him to give noggin! It was so adorable and Aiden really ate up the attention and his uncles beard!